Stepping Away

My favorite art period is impressionism because only when you step away does the painting come into focus. I feel like that's what's happening as I get farther and farther away from our lives in San Francisco. The preciousness of the friendships, bonds and community we had there gets clearer with every mile we drive away. Also, the shape of my life past and the signposts to what might be to come are becoming more evident.

Just as I write that last sentence, I have to check myself. On sleepless nights like these, when I get in the grip of a passion, the world crystallizes into a certainty that usually vanishes by morning. Even so, seeing my old friend Wendy today and talking ever briefly about the rabbinical school idea, I'm gripped once again. I think moments of transition call for thoughts of stability, a yin-yang. I expect that as we settle into life in Spain, where these competing forces are more equally balanced, my perspective will again shift.

Even so, the questions I need to explore seem pretty clear:

• Why do I want to do this?
• Is there something else I could do to fulfill this need?
• What will I do with it? (Is the answer to this different than that to the first?)
• Could I do these things in some other way?