Renewal Weekend

Spent the weekend at the annual Beyt Tikkun retreat in Marin. Still speechless about most of my experience of the weekend. I had an incredibly moving prayer experience during the Saturday morning Amidah, which we did outside. It was like a weight lifted, my heart wrenched open, tears flowed, and my ego dissolved for a blinding moment of G-d's love. It's hard being back in real life still, like an abrupt stop to a speeding roller-coaster.

A big part of the experience was meditating for 45 minutes before services. Ironically, this particular meditation was part of the tzuris I shed while praying. I had offered an early-morning group meditation and spent a fair amount of time preparing a brief connections teaching. For a variety of reasons which are beside the point, no one showed up. While I was able to center and fly a bit, I was still more than a little miffed... No matter, though. I usually spend the first one third to one half of any given prayer service getting out of my head. This time, I was able to snap right to openness. Ergo the above experience, I presume.

Amberly & I are still working through the whole fertility thing. Suffice it to say we are facing the potential decision of whether or not to go high-tech in our quest for parenthood. Moral & spiritual dilemmas abound. More on that another post, however.

Rabbi Lerner gave a great teaching on the Amidah on Sunday -- ways of accessing the weekday prayer, step by step. Pretty killer.