My first Elul

I feel like a newborn, experiencing things for the first time. Maybe it's this funky mood I've been in, but I think it goes beyond that. Elul, the month given for reflection leading to Teshuvah - our return - at Yom Kippur, grabbed me without my knowledge, shook me and said, "We're really doing it this year."

Tonight was the first night of the "Meditation and Teshuvah" class with Rabbi Lew, and he described the cycle of the days of awe as starting with Tisha b'Av, the time we mourn the falling of the temple and our estrangement as a people. Estrangement is necessary in a process that ends in return. Elul, then, is the time to listen to our hearts and find where it is we need to (re)turn to.

I've been Jewish all my life, but never have I stared the tradition in the face so directly and felt it so...new. I realize that I have taken my habit of relying on secondary sources to an extreme with my Judaism, content with listening to rabbis tell me about texts and interpretations, without engaging them directly. I think that is about to change.

I've been reading Adam Lavitt's contemplative blog, and came across an interesting thought about questions for the season, which I'll give a shot:

Where do I begin?

What aspects of Jewish practice are really important to incorporate into my life/our lives?

What do I want to do with this thirst for knowledge?

How does my daily (secular) work relate to my spiritual practice?

How can I align the two more tightly?